Its’ time to learn saying ‘NO’


One of the toughest and stressed situation ever, saying YES while neither agree nor disagree on something.

It is an usual phenomena, you feel trapped with some unwanted request and fall in trench of push-pull situation at home and your work place.

Are you struggling to say NO, when you disagree or feel discomfort for any ideas or activitiy of someone? And feel helpless?

If your answer is yes, try to understand actually why and how we ought to react at this situation.

What should you do?

Like having an affirmative attitude, you also need to usher ‘Nope’ attitude balancing your personality in order. Honestly, this attitude makes your life smoother.

Before find out the solution your inability to say No, let me clarify what science says about this sort of dual reactions of human behavior.

This comes from the Amygdala, the integrative centre of human brain for emotions, emotional behavior and motivation. This center of your brain responses when you are asked an emotional question and that upsets you. You are getting upset and but your brain does not want to agree with this contrasting ideas.In a consequence,  your brain can not take the pressure anymore and then  follow the easy route by saying “yes”. For the time being, the pain and your discomfort end up with contradictory beliefs,ideas or information.This facade behavior is harmful for your mental health for long run.

For instance, you were planning for a long to spend a  good time with your family this summer. Suddenly your favorite neighbor asked you to accompany her since  she feel alone at home as her sons going for summer vacation.In the latter of your vacation plan, you literally got perplexed,what you should do? How to say NO to her? Because you don’t want to hurt her as she was supportive to you earlier days.

Unlikely most of time, you can not deny your close one request. By accepting the plea of this neighbor, you actually instigate stress to your brain and heart.Because at this moment you forcing yourself to acknowledge what you actually hate to do.

What consequences may occur by this situation ??

According to research of Jhon Cacioppo, Ph.D and his colleagues at the Chicago University, Cerebral Cortex (specific part of brain)is responsible for this,we are not dare to say no or handle the situation properly.

In the ballpark of  research is every time saying’ Yes’ instead of ‘No’, we actually choose  dander up our self  and slowly its change our behavior and personality pattern sharply over the course of time.Inside you are shouting ‘no’ ‘no”no’ but latter of practice its turn into ‘Yes’. Its eating up your spirit and power of affirmation.

Do you realise that?

One of my reader shared that though she was astute of her office colleague’s attitude of taking unfair advantage on her almost everyday.But she unable to refuse to help her colleague  after office.As a result,every morning she face hurdle pressure to go to office, even  she scare seeing her shadow sometimes and latterly she can not enjoy her work.Just simple two words ‘NO’ could be the solution in this peer conflict. Truly!

Saying NO, even to your good dude  is tough but not impossible.This negativity sometimes make us guilty. But to add savor for life,why don’t you get rid of guiltiness?

The power of saying  ‘NO’

1.Saying No gives you space for self reliance,otherwise it causes burnout.

2.It helps to take bold decision and it states that ‘I am not comfortable ‘.

3.It teaches not let people take advantage on you.

4. No means ‘I am not agree with you’

5. It means “I don’t want you turn down but I have own priorities.”

6.’No’ means a positive attitude towards your self assertion.

So, need not to feel guilty,ashamed,abundant when you say ‘No’ to others to set your own priorities in life. Nothing wrong with it.

Remember, you need to give  some values to you.Now try to  balances to do for others and for yourself. If you can do something for you, you might rejoice in your life and keep people happy by helping them spontaneously!

In life, sacrifice always not great. What you need to understand the magic of saying NO at the right moment.

Lets’ try some tips to say ‘NO’:

Tip#1  Imagine you are unique,precious and important.Nobody in the Earth can force against your will.

Tip# 2 Ask yourself is it worth it to say Yes if you don’t want.If so be straight to say NO.

Tip#3 Self worth is more important  than your doings for others.

Tip# 4 Live with your own approval, don’t allow others to control your with their opinion.You will loose freedom and happiness. Just take my words.

Tip#5 Remember and try to believe that resentment is injurious for your health like smoking.

Tip# 6 Follow Ted talk strategy. Practice speaking ” My opinion is more important than others. I am confident.”

Tip# 7 Do good to yourself then you might good to others.

Tip# 8 Improve your communication skills by learning some functional language to express ‘NO’ soft way. Learn useful expressions for the language function of Disagreeing Strongly.

Tip#9 Set boundary and Privacy within your relationship.Learn how to keep privacy

Tip#10 Just blow up your guiltiness of saying no or let it go with smile.

Happy Reading! Discover the solace of life!! 


11 thoughts on “Its’ time to learn saying ‘NO’

  1. I think it’s harder for women to say ‘no’ than men. We have been taught that not only is it more expected for us to be compliant, we are often in less authoritarian roles. So many times, we are unable to say ‘no’, because it is part of our workplace responsibilities, which makes it more difficult for us to adopt this more assertive behavior in our private lives.

    Liked by 1 person

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