Let me guess, why do you upset recently?
“Simultaneously, last two months you are facing same drama in your life. Even you do not want to react that way.You shout on someone and then feel guilty….again shout and again feel guilty…shout and guilt. These two’s have a gravitational bound with you like a Galaxy. You are trying over and over to overcome this complex mental state……..but still you are in same box, situation is not improving and scored ‘F-minus’ in your real life.”
If so, stop worrying immediately !
You are not alone experiencing this awkward situation. This unexpected situation happens in our life all on a sudden; surprisingly we can understand the problems but cannot implement the solution. If I am not wrong, the reason behind of your problem is habit of being “perfectionist” or “worrier”.
Yes! It’s a habit, a bad destructive habit of human minds.
According to research from Sydney Blatt, a psychologist at Yale University ,”Perfectionists are more likely to kill themselves than regular, mediocre-performing people.”
Common psychology of a Perfectionist
Sydney Blatt, a psychologist at Yale University finds that perfectionists are more likely to kill themselves than regular, mediocre-performing people.
Lets’ see how do a perfectionist behave?
- Perfectionist cannot accept mistakes and that making a mistake means they are a failure or a not a good person.
- They always feel stressed because most of the time they cannot meet their own set standards.
- They started believe they are not capable as others.
- Chronic procrastination, difficulty completing tasks, or giving up easily.
- Always think “Anything less than perfection is a failure”, “If I need help from others, then I am weak”.
Etc. Etc.
How to Overcome Perfectionism?
First of all, you agree that you have a personality disorder like “perfectionism”. This is not a disease to be panic! You need not feel shy to accept this reality. Rather imagine you are normal human being with lots of mistakes.Nobody is perfect in this world. What All we can do is our best.
Just give your best!
Lets’ try some realistic statement to believe everyday job-
- “To err is human. Making a mistake is a normal trend, it does not mean I’m failure or dump.”
- “Everyone makes mistakes! s if I do whats’ wrong??”
- “It’s okay not to be happy all the time. Everyone has a bad day sometime.”
- “It’s okay if some people don’t like me. No one is liked by everyone! Sometimes people is not interested even you do super-duper job. They don’t care because they don’t like you. So no need waste your valuable time thinking of this universal truth. Remember you can no change, you can just do your best.
If you ignore this reality, another symptom will be added in your personality…you will be habituated of ‘worrier’ then.You worry whole day find out the answer of ‘WHY’ for silly, asinine and not sensible issues such as ‘ why the stranger at the park glimpse on you, why your teenage son keep talking less recent days, why your good boss do not appreciate your presentation today, why your fiance do not call every day now a days. Why husband respond today in dinner table’??? This is Ok for urging but nagging is too much in that case.
How to Overcome habit of ‘Worry’?
- Stop overthinking and negative self-talk.You need to read and study about some pros and cons of overthinking consequences.It will damage your brain capacity and leads to depression and anxiety.
- Try to understand the situation on others point of view.If we take the previous example of your kids study time that you feel guilty you can not help regularly your kids study and you worried too much about kids bright future. If you try to understand, you are already aware of the situation and try to doing help otherwise.Its okay, no need to transfer your stress to the kids.Your close friend is doing exactly and they never think of ‘dark future’ of their kids even they can not spend more time with kids.
- Be an activist rather than judgmental. Not knowing the real fact, you need to judge a situation. If you feel lonely, just go and meet someone you like most or buy some vegetables to cook for dinner. Stop thinking why I AM ALONE.
- Looking at the big picture of life. Ask yourself ” Is it worthy to worry about something that you can not change?” or “Is this realistic?”.
- Set some realistic standards. For instance, “If you do not get a promotion this year, you will be embarrassed in front of your junior’. The reality is you can not control either what people’s think about us or rhetorically you can not insist your boss to give star in your annual rating for higher post. The only thing you can do to give your best, to develop your skill and knowledge. End of the day, unfortunately if you don’t get promoted, you already became amazing person without any regrets and with your own satisfaction.
- Finally, Pray and talk to GOD for your answer.It is an amazing tools to stop worrying. If something bother me i Just wake up at midnight and dressed my self for prayer and praying till I feel extremely sleepy.Next morning, I wake up with a refreshed mind.
When people are perfectionist and habituate with unnecessary worries, may result their outburst behavior like screaming,bellowing and guiltiness.Obviously, these behavior has some effects on our mental health, brain and relationship.More often they feel like they are failure and scored themselves as ‘F-minus’. To overcome this hurdle mental state, we learn and practice to take good care of ourselves to be Happier and Healthier Person!!
What’s in your toolkit that could be added to this list?
Please comment or share email at mail@shahins.info.
well crafted article!! really liked it
LikeLiked by 1 person
Happy to see your comment..
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yea I think I have this disorder of perfectionism.
Also I really need to overcome my worrying habit.
Thanks for the post
LikeLiked by 1 person
wow… honestly loved you title ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow.. honestly loved your title ❤ … I’ll recommend it to my friends and family
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank You sooooo much ,Fahim!
LikeLike
Wooow such a nice read. I think I am one and I feel bad when I dont meet my goals. Thanks for sharing
LikeLiked by 1 person
‘Not meeting goal’ makes you more capable and expert over the time…just wait and watch!!:)
LikeLike
Excellent post – I love how it clearly defines the different types of perfectionism and how to manage them! Thanks for sharing!
http://sweetcleanliving.com
LikeLike
Happy to know you enjoy my writing…
LikeLike
I love this Article.
LikeLike
Glad to know you like it…:)
LikeLike
This is really good. I’d class perfectionism more under mental health rather than personality disorder as often it borders on the line of obsessive compulsive disorder. It’s a great thing to talk about so people know they aren’t alone.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good point.more specific..thx for sharing..
LikeLike
What a plruease to find someone who thinks through the issues
LikeLike
I think maybe a little of both 🙂 great post. x
LikeLiked by 1 person
Careful!!!!!!You should take care of it 🙂
LikeLike
Let me start by saying that only God Almighty is perfect, We as humans are bound to make mistakes. It is acceptable as humans to make mistakes sometimes, so no one should feel gutted when a task is not completed promptly or correctly cause we can only get better. Nice write-up.
http://www.gidokblog.com
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes… recent days I realized this so much…thanks for your comment 🙂
LikeLike
I’m such a perectionist.Just can’t help myself
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just be ‘messy’ for some days.don’t bother if it doesn’t goes wrong..will feel light !
LikeLiked by 2 people
I have since given up on trying to be a perfectionist. Great post I must say.
LikeLike
Indeed..this tendency eat up our soul..:)
LikeLike
Well put, sir, well put. I’ll ceiratnly make note of that.
LikeLike
I am the perfectionist and i know this cause so much fear to start something that i should. I really like your tips on how to overcome it. thank you so much for your post.
LikeLike
Thanks for such a nice comment:)
LikeLike
Thank you – this was really nice to read right now 🙂 I value it
LikeLike
It’s amazing to go to see this site and reading the views of all colleagues about this piece of writing, while I am also eager of getting know-how.
LikeLike
great article! interesting 🙂
xx
lau
LikeLike
Thank you ..:)
LikeLike
That moment when you realize you are both 0_0 in some parts of your life. Thanks for the read 🙂
LikeLike
I am impulsive! I am perfectionist! I am a worrier! But I am imperfect!
I am a just human 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes …A human with a balance of all.
LikeLike
Aww…I enjoyed reading this..it relatable… I make mistakes, but I don’t beat myself up when I do…I am human so it’s fine….on the other hand, I worry when I have to…I don’t dwell on it rather I find a possible solution or talk to someone that can help….A bit of both means human yea
LikeLike
Correct you are.Thanks for reading.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great piece! Thank you for sharing!
LikeLike
Loved this one, such a good text!
LikeLike
indeed very thoughtful piece of work. hope to read more of your thoughts..!
LikeLike